The Day I Lost You: A totally gripping psychological thriller Read online

  When I arrive at the desk, I see him still talking to the same old man from before. I interrupt a one-sided conversation about the reliability of the mail.

  “Henry!” I yell.

  “Just one moment,” he says holding up a finger without looking back.

  “No, please listen. I need help. My daughter is stuck on the seventh floor.” My words grab Henry’s full attention and turn him around to face me.

  “Your daughter? What are you talking about?” Henry says, somewhat confused. “Wait, what were you doing on the seventh floor? I never gave you permission to—”

  “Listen to me, please. My four-year-old girl is alone on the seventh floor of this building.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that, but you need to take a moment to calm down and—”

  “Don’t tell me to calm down! My little girl is missing. She’s up there all alone and lost. I need to get into the stairwell.” I don’t care that I’m shouting until I see at least ten people in the lobby staring in my direction. Even the three people by the elevator are still around, watching the drama unfold. Why aren’t they helping me? This isn’t a joke.

  The old man steps toward me. His eyes seem familiar, but I can’t quite place him. “Excuse me, miss, how did your little girl end up on the seventh floor alone?” he asks with a calm voice.

  I flick my eyes to the man, wondering who he is. He’s a short and skinny senior with thinning hair.

  “The damn elevator got stuck there and partially opened. My Bunny can’t stand elevators and freaked out. She escaped through the gap just before the doors shut and sent me back down to the ground.”

  The old man tilts his head slightly at me. “Did you say ‘Bunny’?”

  I close my eyes tight and frown while both of my hands grip my skull. “I meant Alice. Bunny is her nickname.”

  “It’s a cute name. I like it,” he says, as I open my eyes again. “Don’t worry. We’ll find little Bunny soon enough.” He walks over from the front of the reception desk and offers me his hand to shake. “My name is Alan Bracero. I’m a resident of Stonework Village. Now, I can personally guarantee that your daughter will be fine. There’s not much up on seven. Most of the apartments aren’t being rented out at the moment. Why were you heading there, anyway?”

  “I wasn’t,” I say, thankful that he seems to know so much about the building. “I was going to the top floor.”

  Alan’s brows twist. “Then why did your daughter get off at seven?”

  “I told you—the elevator got stuck, and the doors opened enough for her to slip through. She hates elevators. They scare her. I should have gotten access to the stairs. God, I’m an awful mother.”

  Alan shakes his head. “Now, now. Calm yourself, miss. I’m sorry, but what you’re saying doesn’t make sense. If you were heading up to fourteen, you shouldn’t have stopped at seven.”

  I step back a pace as I resist the urge to freak out. I know Alan is trying to help quiet me down, but my Bunny is up there all alone. I see her confused face in my mind. I can’t help my reaction.

  “Listen to me when I say this: the elevator screwed up and got stuck at seven.” I step closer to Alan and stare into his eyes while breathing audibly. The next words out of my mouth are as calm as I can make them. “Then, the doors opened, and my daughter escaped. The elevator closed and took me back down here, and now it won’t work.”

  “Just take it easy,” Henry says, butting in with two raised palms like I’m about to explode. “We’ll find Alice, but first you need to take a moment and simmer down.”

  “Simmer down? My baby girl is on her own in a fourteen-level building, and you want me to take it easy? I need to get up there right now.”

  I ignore the eyes of those around me as the world closes in like I’m a danger. Do none of these people have children? Can they honestly tell me they wouldn’t behave the same way?

  “I’ll assist you, ma’am,” Alan says.

  “Thank you,” I reply, not waiting to hear what Henry has to say on the issue.

  Alan moves toward the elevator at a pace that surprises me. He seems rather active for his age. I catch up to his side with a few hasty steps.

  “I’m the head of the neighborhood watch for the building,” he says, as he waves off the three people about to board the elevator. I feel a slight sense of relief—something is finally being done. I’ll see Alice soon enough. I rub the back of my wrists as I feel my heart thumping away.

  The double doors to the elevator have managed to close at some point during my yelling. I start shuffling on the spot as we wait. Alan presses the button a few times before stepping closer to me.

  “Wait. I can’t take the elevator again. This thing is taking too long to open. It screwed up before and it’ll screw up again. I don’t think it’s even working. We’re taking the stairs.”

  “Nonsense. This will be much quicker.”

  “I know it will, but I’m not doing it,” I say, as I head to the stairs. Alan follows. I’m not going to get on that thing again and get stuck somewhere else while my Bunny needs me.

  “Are you going to help me or not?”

  Alan purses his lips with a lowered head. “I will. We’ll take the stairs, but I have to say that your way is going to take a lot longer.”

  “I understand, but it’s safer.”

  He throws his hands up in defeat. “Okay. Do you know about the keycard system?”

  “Yes. I used to live here,” I say.

  I don’t waste another moment and rush over to the stairwell door. Alan swipes his keycard over the panel to unlock the entrance. I push through first. A second later I am climbing up the building, with Alan right on my tail, to find my little Bunny.

  Five

  Alan keeps up with me as we hurry upward. The stairwell is made from solid concrete, meaning we have no way of seeing up or down. Not being able to see ahead adds another rock to my stomach. We maintain a silence that is deafening until Alan speaks.

  “What’s your name, dear? You look so damn familiar.”

  “Erika. I lived in the building for a short amount of time.”

  He grunts. “Right. Maybe I’ve seen you around here.”

  “I doubt it,” I mutter.

  “Well then, if we haven’t met before, I’m pleased to meet you, Erika. I’m sorry it’s under such terrible circumstances.”

  “Same to you, Alan,” I say, attempting to be polite after realizing I’ve no doubt been rude to everyone who’s crossed my path since Alice fled the elevator. “I’m sorry for getting upset with you before. I’m just a bit anxious to find Alice.”

  “I understand. I have a few kids of my own. Of course, they’re all grown up now. You said your daughter is four years old?”

  “Yes.”

  Alan smiles at me. “Fun age, that one.”

  “Yes, it is. All the more reason why I’m so desperate to find her.”

  “Uh, yes, I understand,” Alan replies. He clears his throat. “So why were you headed to the top floor, if you don’t mind me asking?”

  I sigh. Why does he want to know? “I was taking Alice up there to see if her father, Michael Walls, was home. He’s a lawyer who lives in one of the top-floor apartments.”

  Alan’s brows lift at the mention that my ex is a lawyer. He might know who Michael is from his neighborhood watch, but he doesn’t know what kind of relationship Michael and I have, apart from the fact that I don’t live here. Hopefully, the knowledge that Alice’s father is a lawyer will be enough to scare him into taking this a little more seriously.

  “I see,” Alan says. “Well, best we find your little one then.”

  “Yes. That’s all I want.”

  By this point, Alice must be so scared. No one is there to tell her everything is okay. No one is there to calm her down and hold back her tears. I know what people are like; none of them will come out from their apartments to help a lost child.

  My little Bunny escaped that elevator out of fear; whatever reason sh
e has to be afraid of elevators will be permanent after today. I’ll never make her ride another one again.

  Alan continues talking to me, possibly trying to keep me distracted. Finally, we reach the entry to the seventh floor and pull the door inward to open it.

  “Bunny,” I call out, as I step into the carpeted corridor. The stairs come out next to the elevator in the middle of the building’s H shape. I take a quick peek left and right. I feel the hairs on my body stand on their ends when I don’t immediately spot her. Why isn’t she near?

  Light fixtures above dot the way. I compose myself and find the courage to continue. I have to be strong for her. “Alice, where are you? Mommy’s here.” My voice disappears down the long corridors. I spin left and then right, looking in the two directions she could have run off. The doors had shut on me too quickly: I didn’t get a chance to see which route she chose.

  “Alice?” Alan calls out. “Come on out.”

  I shake my head at the old man. “She won’t come to the sound of a stranger’s voice. I taught her not to. Please, let me call out to her.” I turn away as Alan nods his head to show he understands. I try my hardest not to sound ungrateful, but it’s hard not to. I just want to find Alice before the situation gets out of hand and before Michael finds out. I know he would try to use this against me. He’s always trying to prove how bad a mother I am.

  “Bunny,” I shout down the left corridor before pacing over to the right and doing the same on the other side of the H-shaped layout.

  “If I may interrupt?” Alan says.

  I half face him, still glancing all around, in search mode. “Yes?”

  “May I suggest we split up? I know your little girl will probably run in the opposite direction if she sees an old fool like me, but I can call out to you the second I find her.”

  I close my eyes for a moment to center my thoughts. “Okay. That sounds like a good idea.”

  Alan gives me a quick nod. “I’ll head left. You take the right.”

  “Thank you,” I say, as I watch him go left. That’s when I remember losing my phone near the elevator. I quickly scan the area and discover it’s nowhere to be found. Did Alice pick it up? I hope she did. Or maybe one of the residents found it? It doesn’t matter now. I can always replace it with a new one.

  I rush off in the opposite direction as the overhead lights buzz. I continue to call out to Alice, alternating between her nickname and her actual name. Every time I shout out, my voice bounces down the corridor, diminishing as it reverberates off the walls and the closed doors.

  The passageway is littered with apartment entrances. I want to bang on each door I find and ask the occupants if they have seen a little girl, but I resist for now. I first need to sweep the floor before I start to panic in full. It’s not far off at this point.

  Once I reach the end of the corridor, I find two options again that she could have taken. Left or right. I head right. The floor is crammed full of apartments. Alan said that most of the units on this level are empty, meaning we won’t have many people to help find Alice if needed. The place feels devoid of life.

  What should have been a thriving residential floor full of people who could have helped find Alice is instead a maze of nothing. There aren’t many places a small child could hide, unless they found their way into an empty, unlocked apartment.

  I call out to Alice again. I hate the sound of my voice weakening against the concrete walls. Where the hell is she? “Bunny!” I shout as my pace quickens. “Alice, please come out. Mommy’s here.”

  I reach the end of the right side and turn around to cover the opposite section to the left past the middle corridor. There are dozens of apartments along this section of the building. Could she have gone inside one of them? I reach the other end.

  Nothing.

  I charge back the way I came, shouting her name while checking every nook and cranny. I again pass the central row that holds the elevator and stairwell. A sting of sweat prickles my forehead. Why can’t I find her?

  Finally, I feel it hit me square in the face: panic. I gulp in rapid breaths of air and start to spin around in the long corridor. I can’t fight this anymore. I turn and turn, my hands shaking. I try desperately to pull my palms to my face, but I stumble and drop into a squat on the thick carpet before I can center myself. All I see is Alice, terrified and alone, as I feel myself breaking down.

  After a moment of shaking, I wrap my arms around my face and begin to sense the calm flow over me. I hear my breathing slow enough to allow me to think again. Then, as if on cue, the little voice in my head starts to question me.

  How could I have let this happen? I’ve lost my only daughter inside this damn building, while Michael possibly sits on the top floor, oblivious. Whether he’s here or not doesn’t matter. As soon as he finds out Alice went missing even for a second, he will happily use it against me. The only reason we were coming here today was to get Alice’s toy back before we left town for good. I’m so rattled that I doubt I’ll be able to go through with the idea even if I find Alice in the next ten seconds.

  “Miss?” Alan says, back from his search of the other side of the building.

  I realize how strange it must look to him that I am squatting down with both arms covering my face. I fight through the embarrassment and rise to my feet and straighten my hair.

  “Is everything okay?” he asks, taking long strides in my direction.

  I run toward him. “Please tell me you’ve seen Alice,” I say in a choked voice. I already know he hasn’t found her, but I need him to say it. I need to hear the words come from his mouth. I close the gap between us and grab hold of him by his jacket.

  Alan shakes his head while leaning back from me. “I didn’t see her, I’m afraid. I’ve checked my side and I can see she’s not here either.”

  “Okay,” I let out with a squeak. I let go of him and stumble back. I’m fighting back the tears as I try to speak. My words won’t come. I begin to pace around while shaking out my wrists.

  Alan stares at me with sympathetic eyes. I already know what he is going to tell me next, but I wait for him to say it out loud.

  “She’s not here.”

  I grab my head and squeeze. I look up to Alan and try to hold back the fear brewing inside. How long can I keep this up for? “Where is she?”

  “There’s only one place she could have gone,” he says.

  I step toward him again, my eyes wide. “Where? Tell me, please.”

  “Follow me.” He turns and resumes his quick pace.

  I charge up behind and follow. We rush back down the middle corridor toward the elevator. We arrive at the steel doors but veer off toward the stairwell access point.

  “You don’t think?” I ask.

  “I’m guessing she went this way,” Alan says.

  The handle is low and within Alice’s reach. She worked out how our doors at home functioned at a young age. I press on the handle; it moves with ease, and the door swings open onto the stairwell. Only the door to the lobby locks from the outside. She could have gone up or down in an attempt to find her daddy or me. If she went down, she had to have exited onto another floor, or we would have seen her. If she went up, the same possibility existed. How far could her little legs have taken her?

  Alan steps through beside me. “I could head up, and you could go back down. If I find her, I’ll give your cell a call. What’s your number?”

  Alice couldn’t have gone that far up or down. I know it in my heart. She’s only small. Then I remember my cell is missing. “Dammit. I lost my phone when the elevator screwed up. I thought we were going to find it out there.”

  Alan nods at me and looks around the area, thinking up a new idea. “Maybe Alice picked it up. We should try calling it.”

  I close my eyes as I struggle to remember my own phone number. I can recall maybe half of it in my head, but the rest is a scrambled mess. “I don’t know it. How can I not know my own number? I’m so stupid.”

  “It�
��s okay. What about Michael? He should know it, right? Why don’t we give him a call and find out your number? If he’s nearby, he can help with the search.”

  “No, we can’t,” I blurt. I realize a second too late that it might seem a bit odd that I don’t want Alice’s father to help find her as quickly as possible. I should have told Alan from the start that we don’t have the best relationship.

  Alan stares at me with a frown. “Why not? I’d imagine he’d be quite keen to ensure the safety of his daughter.”

  “He would be,” I say, “but I don’t want to bother him with this.”

  “Bother him?” Alan says, as he crosses his arms over his chest. His brow tightens. “I know you two are split up, but he would want to know Alice is okay.”

  I give him a slight scowl. “How did you know we weren’t together?”

  “Well, you don’t live together, for starters. But hey, I get it. I’ve been there. You don’t ever want them to have the upper hand, for any reason, but this is different. This is serious. I’m sure Michael would only want to see his daughter found.”

  I close my eyes and try to push out the image of Michael screaming at me, telling me I’m a worthless excuse for a mother. I am, though. I lost her. This is all my fault. I sigh with a heavy heart, knowing that Alan is right. There’s no other option.

  “Okay. Let’s call him. We have to.”

  Six

  Then

  Pregnancy was harder than I thought it would be. I was two months along and still able to hide from my employer the fact that I had a baby growing inside me—for now. What I couldn’t hide was the aggressive morning sickness that knocked me on my ass every day. All I wanted to do was vomit, but it would never happen. I’d crouch over the toilet at home or the office and try to will the contents of my stomach up to get some sense of relief, but it would never happen.

  A visit to my doctor confirmed everything was fine and that this was just a frustrating, yet regular, part of the process. It didn’t seem possible that such a tiny thing inside you could cause so much pain. I’d known that it was going to be tough, but I wasn’t prepared for so much nausea every day. On top of that, I was exhausted. How was I going to handle this when I was six-plus months pregnant? I’d have to go to work every day until the last possible minute. Would the stress I’d feel be good for the baby?