Devotion Read online

  "Confused?" he asks.

  "A little," I admit. "I thought Annette was picking us up."

  "She's too busy. Plus, I figured it would be best if I came so you can see I'm not mad at you."

  "And? Are you?"

  He reverses out of our drive and into the street. "I guess I'm no longer upset, but I won't forget what happened just yet. Besides. You needed me, so here I am."

  I smile. I recognize I shouldn't be happy with his reasoning. He caused this latest piece of drama and is now making out that he is the bigger person. Still, having him come to my rescue feels amazing. I don't know what I'd do without him. After Peter left, life wasn't so easy. Raising Ava on my own has been a challenging task. With Corey here, my time is better.

  I keep quiet for the rest of the drive into work, not wanting to upset things. I need to let time heal whatever has gone on between us. Maybe one day we can talk about all of this and realize we were both behaving like idiots.

  43

  Katherine

  I push through the day, feeling somewhat more positive than when I woke up. Corey had lunch with me, but there was a tension in the air I couldn't quite explain. It was awkward, as if we were on our first date again.

  Corey told me he needed to stay back for an hour to get some of his grading finished. Without my car, I couldn't take off home, so I agreed to wait around for him. I'm not going to drive to our house only to return to pick him up either, so thirty minutes after the kids have left, I decide to walk over to see Annette before she leaves for the day.

  I find her finishing up in the office, closing her computer down.

  "Hey, Kat. I was about to head over to you."

  "You were? How come?"

  Annette tidies a few items on her desk before answering me. "I've got a proposition for you."

  I feel my face tighten with confusion. "A proposition?"

  "Yeah. I think it's time you and I went out for a few drinks."

  "Like this weekend?"

  "No. Tonight."

  "Tonight?" I watch Annette as she leaves the office and comes out to the other side of the window I'm used to seeing her behind.

  "It's been too long, and there's this bar a few towns over I've heard great things about that we must hit up. They have cheap drinks during the week, and I think you and Corey need some time apart."

  I exhale audibly through flared nostrils. "You're not wrong. We finally talked to each other again when he came and picked me up this morning, but there's still some unresolved anger there. It was a little confusing, to be honest. I thought he was sending you to collect Ava and me."

  "He had asked me, but I guess he changed his mind."

  "It was amazing that he did so, but I can't shake the feeling that we aren't one hundred percent right yet."

  "I figured that might be the case," Annette says, guiding me to the front door. "So we need to get you two out of each other's hair."

  "You're only saying that so you and I can get drunk."

  She gives me a coy smile. "Maybe."

  "On a weeknight? Are you crazy?"

  "Come on. It'll make us feel like we're not in our thirties if we do something fun during the week for a change."

  I run it over in my head. Drinks with Annette would be incredible. "I'll need to ask Corey to take care of Ava. After yesterday I don't know how well that will go down."

  "How about this: I'll twist his arm for you. He can't say no to me. Let's tell him now what's happening."

  "Oh, you are good," I say, impressed by her commitment to the idea.

  "I am, aren't I?"

  We walk over to Corey's room. I don't understand why, but I feel nervous about asking him to watch Ava tonight so Annette can take me out for a drink. A wife should feel like she can ask her husband anything, but given recent times, a piece of the faith I had in Corey has vanished.

  "Is everything okay?" Annette asks as she loops her arm around my elbow. "You're shaking a little."

  "Am I?"

  "Yeah, quite a lot," she says as we come to a stop a few hundred feet before Corey's classroom.

  Annette casts her eye up and down my face as if she is trying to diagnose me. "Why don't you take a breath in through your nose and slowly let it out of your mouth."

  "No, I'm fine. I need to get out of my head for a minute. I'm being pathetic, I know, but I can't seem to shake this bad feeling something awful will happen."

  "Like what? We're only telling Corey to watch Ava tonight so you can both take some time to be apart. Don't they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, or some stupid crap like that?"

  "Yes, that's the expression."

  "So let's go get this over with. I guarantee Corey will be happy to hear my idea."

  "Really? You think he doesn't want to be around me that badly."

  "No, it's not like that, Kat. You two have just gotten married. It's a huge change in your lives. That takes a toll on any relationship."

  I take in what Annette has to say, wondering how she is such an expert. Everything coming out of her mouth makes perfect sense. I only wish I could appreciate it more.

  "We're here," Annette says, releasing me from her light grip.

  "Time to tell him what's happening, right?"

  My hand shakes a little, so I make a fist and squeeze hard to stop the overwhelming dread that's looming from taking over. "Okay."

  "You can do this," Annette whispers.

  I feel so pathetic, struggling this much to ask my husband for a basic favor that barely requires any effort on his behalf. I'll still be putting Ava to bed. All he must do is help her if she wakes up for any reason.

  I raise my clenched fist to Corey's door and knock. I can see him inside with his head down and buried in paperwork. Has he really gotten this far behind in such a short time? Part of being a successful lead teacher is still being able to manage your class while taking on the extra responsibilities. Is Corey struggling?

  He glances up and sees us standing outside his room through the glass panel in the door. His brow scrunches in for a moment before he flashes a smile for us to enter.

  "There he is," Annette calls out to Corey as we enter.

  "Hi, honey," I add.

  "Hello," Corey says with some hesitation in his voice. "What's this all about?"

  "What? Can't we say hello to our favorite teacher?" Annette says.

  Corey gives out a half smile from the side of his mouth and crosses his arms over his chest. He leans back in his chair. "Okay. What is it? Out with it."

  Annette glances at me for a second. "I'm taking your wife out for some drinks tonight."

  "Tonight? You realize it's the middle of the week, right?"

  "We do. You can get cheap drinks if you know where to look. And besides, with the crap this place throws at us all, you're lucky this isn't a nightly occurrence."

  Corey chuckles. "Yeah, I hear you."

  "So you'll watch Ava then?" Annette asks. I might as well have been in another room given the way this conversation is going.

  Corey nods while rolling his eyes off to the side. "Yes. Someone has to while you two drunks are out trashing the town."

  "Ha ha," Annette says in a mocking tone.

  "Are you sure?" I ask him.

  "Yes. Go have some fun."

  "Thank you, honey," I say.

  "Don't mention it. Happy to help. You both look like you need a night off."

  "I'll make it up to you."

  "No need. Put Ava to bed and I'll listen out for her."

  "Great. Then it's settled," Annette says. "I'll come pick up Kat at eight tonight and drop her off before school starts."

  Corey shakes his head with a broad smile. "Sounds like a terrible plan. We'll see you then."

  Annette subtly gives my arm a squeeze as if to tell me how easy this was. "See you soon," I say as she goes to leave.

  "Bye now. Be ready for me at eight. Thank you, Corey," she says over her shoulder as she walks away.

  Within a moment, Co
rey and I are alone, facing each other with an awkward silence filling the air. Why does this still feel so strange?

  Corey continues to smile at me as if I'm a customer in a store and he is one of the friendly staff waiting to assist me. "I'll be ready to leave soon. Why don't you go collect Ava while I finish up?"

  "Sounds like a plan. I'll go sign her out now." I head for the door.

  "By the way, Kat."

  "Yes?" I turn back to him.

  "You could have asked me yourself. You didn't need to bring Annette in."

  I want to give him my reasoning, but my mouth won't open to speak. I desperately need to tell him that I feel like we have a serious problem growing over and around our marriage, but I know any such talk may ironically turn into another argument.

  "I'm sorry," I say. "Next time I will. I promise."

  "Good. Because I want you to feel comfortable enough to ask me anything, okay?"

  We both recognize that isn't true given the email debacle. Still, I smile at my husband and pretend everything is fine. A moment later, I leave.

  As my feet carry me away from Corey's room, I can't help but realize how difficult the path ahead will be. How are we going to make it through the next few months, let alone the rest of our lives?

  I wrap my arms around my body tight and rush to Ava. I need to see her innocent face now more than ever.

  44

  Annette

  Everything is in place for the next phase of this whole ordeal. I can see seeds of doubt sewn deep within Katherine's mind concerning her marriage to Corey. Now I need to propel things in the right direction as quickly as possible.

  Earlier in the day, I put the idea into Corey's head to drive Katherine and Ava to school after they had car troubles. It might have seemed like the perfect opportunity to encourage him not to do so, but I needed to set up for tonight. It will be worth the sacrifice.

  I honk my horn twice out the front of Katherine and Corey's home, arriving five minutes early. This will appear as a mistake because Katherine is never on time to go anywhere. I guarantee she is still standing by the mirror, slapping makeup on herself. Honking is my way of reminding Corey how frustrating this can be.

  Corey opens the entrance and shakes his head at me the way he has many times in the past. It's a simple piece of communication to tell me to come inside and wait for Katherine to get ready.

  "Am I too early?" I ask him once I'm out of the car and by the front door.

  Corey glances at his watch. "Nope. You're on time. Kat's doing her usual trick where she changes her outfit fifteen times."

  I force a chuckle. "Some things never change. Fortunately, I don't suffer from this problem. I pick out an outfit and commit to it, never second-guessing my decision. There's no point."

  Corey purses his lips. "Fair enough. I just throw on whatever jumps out at me."

  We laugh. I giggle more than is necessary so I can place a hand on his wrist. He doesn't flinch away or seem to mind, so I let my fingers linger for a few seconds longer than is acceptable. We lock eyes for a moment. Goosebumps flood over my skin.

  "Can I get you anything to drink?" he asks.

  "Some water will be fine."

  He nods and smiles at me, warming my insides.

  I watch Corey as he leaves the room. Should I follow him into the kitchen and make a move? No. I can't rush things. I know there's something there between us, but I shouldn't do anything yet and spoil our future.

  I stay where I'm standing, crippled with indecision. This controlling fear is the reason we are in this mess to begin with. If only I had found the courage to tell Corey how I felt when we kissed instead of waiting for him to make a move. There'd be no need for all this scheming. I would have been Corey's wife.

  "Here you go," he says, breaking my thoughts. "Take a seat. I'll check on Kat for you."

  "That's okay," I say, sitting. "You don't have to do that. I'm happy to wait here. We've got all night."

  Corey shakes his head and laughs. "All night, huh? Planning on a big one?"

  "No. Just a few drinks. We'll probably be back before midnight, knowing Kat. I guess I figured you two might benefit from some time apart."

  Corey remains standing at the edge of the room with his arm on the door frame. "It's a good idea, really. Things have been chaotic between us as you know. Hell, right now I could use a week to myself to clear it all up. Does that make me a bad person?"

  "Of course not. Like anyone, you should decompress every so often. And tonight will help you both to take some time to think about it all."

  Corey's eyes focus on the ground. I can see he's deep in thought, letting my words sink into his brain. With each revelation he has about his wife, I get one step closer to my goal. All I need to do is keep moving.

  Katherine finally emerges from her room, having selfishly wasted thirty minutes of my life. Luckily, I spent that time chatting to Corey, ever so carefully filling his head with what he needs to hear.

  "Sorry about that," Katherine says. "I didn't mean to take so long; I couldn't decide what to wear."

  "That's okay," I say through a feigned grin. Katherine uses this excuse every time we go out as if her inability to organize herself is a one-off event. One year, she even screwed up a birthday dinner surprise she was supposed to organize for me by showing up to the restaurant late. By the time we got to the place, our table had been given away. I had to pretend it didn't bother me.

  "Have a good night," Corey says as we head to the front door.

  "We will," I reply. "Don't wait up."

  "Bye, honey," Katherine says to Corey. He gives his wife a wave and nothing more. She deserves less.

  I drive us a few towns over and find a sleazy bar with cheap midweek drinks. The place is half full of loud-mouthed men all trying to talk over one another while some light rock music plays in the background. It's not the best bar to go to if you feel like dancing the night away. Instead, there are plenty of opportunities for young guys to approach us with only one thing on their minds.

  I buy Katherine a glass of wine and find us a booth to sit in. I keep her energy levels high with some school gossip, making sure she finishes her drink as quickly as possible. It will be only a matter of time before we get hit on. Then the night can truly begin.

  45

  Katherine

  I slap the off button on Corey's alarm clock, half confused where I am. The world swirls into existence as I realize I'm at home in bed. With a struggle, I force my eyes to stay open as I try to remember what day it is. Crap, it's Wednesday.

  My head is pounding. The bar Annette and I went to last night is nothing but a hazy mess in my mind. In fact, I don't even recall how I got here. How many glasses of wine did I drink?

  I reach for my cell on the bedside table and pat around, only to discover it's not on its wireless charging pad. "Come on," I say to myself, not needing the painful task of trying to locate my phone after a drunken night out. I haven't had to do that in a long time.

  Giving up after a short while, I look at Corey's alarm clock that he insists on using despite having a smartphone and see that I've slept in for forty minutes. There's no chance in hell I'll be able to get myself and Ava ready in time for school. Plus, I'm guessing Corey went into work early, judging by his absence.

  I almost dive out of bed and stumble my way toward our en suite. After only a few steps into the room, I drop to the floor and huddle myself over the toilet and throw up. Apparently, my body can't handle going out for a drink midweek.

  I finish vomiting and clean myself up with a two-minute shower. Normally I'd be waking up Ava first so she can dress herself while I do the same, but I need the water on my face so I can think.

  I attempt to recall last night. Bits and pieces come to mind. I see Annette laughing away with a drink in her hand as we try to dance in the middle of the bar while some guys hit on us. The rest is a blur. I shake my head and curse myself for letting this happen.

  As I walk toward Ava's room, I
wonder how Annette and I got home when she was the one driving. From what I remember, she was as drunk as I was. I can only hope nothing bad happened to her.

  "Time to get up, baby," I call out as I open Ava's room. Her bed is empty. I roll my eyes, figuring she's in the living room watching TV before school despite knowing better, but then I see a note stuck on the door. How did I miss it before? Focusing on the letters in front of me as best I can, I read the piece of paper.

  I noticed that you came home late, so I took Ava into school this morning to give you a sleep in. - Love, Corey

  This explains why there was an alarm set on Corey's side of the bed. He also couldn't find my cell and had to do things the old-fashioned way writing me a note. Him sorting Ava out and taking her to school is so thoughtful, especially after letting me go out. I owe him.

  Exhaling a pleasant sigh of relief, I take my time getting ready and head to the kitchen for a coffee on autopilot. I brew some ground beans in our machine but become overwhelmed by the smell. Practically gagging, I rush out of the kitchen and squat down in the living room to settle my nausea. How am I going to make it through the day?

  After a good five minutes of trying to will myself up, I stand from the sofa and shuffle to the cordless phone we have at the far end of the room. I pick up the handset and find the number for the school sitting in the phone's address book. It feels odd to do things like this when normally I use my cell for everything. I'm glad Corey insists upon having alarm clocks and landline phones.

  As I stand there tapping the address book, I know I have a decision to make. Should I call in sick? I'm supposed to phone Barry to do so, but I could call Annette instead, so she covers for me.

  With a shake of my head, I turn a few pages and dial our local taxi company. My car is still out of action for a few more days according to our mechanic as he waits on some parts to arrive. The call connects to a grumpy woman who organizes the cab for me. She tells me a driver will be at the front of my house in approximately fifteen minutes.